The Bawdy Bard: 9 Times Shakespeare Told Pen Jokes

William Shakespeare is widely regarded as one of the greatest writers in English literature history. His works continue to captivate audiences with their timeless themes and complex characters. However, beneath his refined language lies a more raunchy side that often goes unexplored.

In this article, we'll dive into 9 instances where The Bard himself poked fun at pens - yes, the writing instruments of yesteryalbeit in some rather risqué ways!

1. 'Romeo and Juliet' - 'Shall I compare thee to a summer's day?' Well, perhaps not if thou dost want to avoid being compared to an overwrought poet scribbling away with his trusty pen.

2. 'The Taming of the Shrew' - 'A woman's tongue is like a sharp knife; it will cut through any obstacle.' Not unlike how Penelope struggled to tame her temperamental husband Ulysses while simultaneously juggling spinning duties and quenching her thirst for revenge against him!

3.'Macbeth' - 'Pinch, pinch! Out with't!' Well said Macbeth as he tried (in vain) to rid himself of the pesky pen that seemed determined to record every bloody detail.

4. 'Hamlet' - 'The play's the thing whereon we catch our conscience.' And what better way to do so than through a hilarious skewering of Hamlet himself for his constant mumbling about how he really needs another cup o' ale...and perhaps an extra pen or two?

5.'Twelfth Night' - 'I'll be hanged before I write another line!' A sentiment echoed by many a writer who've had the misfortune of working with demanding directors.

6. 'Measure for Measure' - 'What's in a name? That which we call a rose, By any other name would smell as foul.' Except when it comes to pen names; then even Shakespeare himself couldn't resist taking potshots at his contemporaries' lackadaisical attitude towards proper attribution!

7.'The Tempest' - 'Hark! What light through yonder window breaks? 'Tis not the dawn, but rather another tedious soliloquy by my good friend Prospero about how much he despises those blasted quills!'

8. 'Troilus and Cressida' - 'O thou false Penia! Thou dost torment me with thy capricious nature!' Who needs a muse when you've got a temperamental pen to contend with?

9.'Hamlet, Prince of Denmark' (aka Hamlet 2: Electric Boogaloo) - 'To quill or not to quill; that is the question...' Well, it seems even Shakespeare couldn't resist throwing in an ode to his beloved writing instrument...even if he did spend most of Act IV ranting about how much he loathed them!

So there you have it folks! 9 instances where William Shakespeare showed off his wicked sense of humor - all thanks (or blame) on the humble pen.

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